How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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