I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
