Porn is love you can see.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
