You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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