just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
