remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Congratulations! We have a period
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
