I want to walk on stilts...naked
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
