booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
