just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
