Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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