awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
