Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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