I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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