oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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