i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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