just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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