so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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