nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Are we still banned from the library?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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