I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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