he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She's the barista slut.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
