Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
