actually, I'm a sock model
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm sobbing to NWA
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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