i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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