you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
