dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize