Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
