It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
