He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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