Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize