That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
