she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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