Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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