You just made me feel so damn special
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
