Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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