I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
