You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
