Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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