GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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