She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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