Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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