Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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