He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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