i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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