shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
