"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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