I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
