Tell her she can't have a vagina
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
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