that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
