you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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