just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
