Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
