I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
