its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize