A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I cockslap morals
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
