So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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