i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize