I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
