i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
