I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
