I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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