It's like a parade of train wrecks.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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