I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
