i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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