Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
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I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize