she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
