are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
