Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
