I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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