dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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