his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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