I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
420 ftw
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
