he shaved USA in his pubs
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
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