This girl is more easily done than said...
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize