There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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