Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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