her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I need a burrito and a hug.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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