I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
